Submission

In a Bible study today, we discussed the verses in Ephesians 5 regarding submitting to our husbands.  Specifically, verse 23 talks about husbands being the head of their wives just as Christ is the head of the church.

There were several comments along the lines of "separate but equal", "he makes the final decision, but it's so hard when I don't agree", "friends think I'm crazy to back down", "it's hard to be submissive, since I like to do things my way",  "ugh...", etc.

As I listened to this commentary, a few points that have made a significant influence in my life immediately came to mind.  So, I'll share them here.

1.  If my husband is over me and Christ is over him, I should be praying for him to act that way.  It's not my job to be his mom (he has a FANTASTIC one already), and, as someone pointed out today, it's not my job to be the Holy Spirit.  He has that already, too.  What I can do, should I feel that I could do his job better, is to pray about it.  I can pray for my own attitude to be submissive*.  I can also pray for him to be receptive to the Holy Spirit.  And for wisdom for both of us in general.  

2.  Speaking of not being the Holy Spirit.  It is NOT my job to convict my husband.  However, sometimes, as the person living with him and therefore closest to him, I sometimes see things he may not notice (ditto in reverse, by the way).  If it's small, then I usually tell him sooner rather than later.   If it's a major thing, I wait.  And I pray.  And I wait some more.  Especially when the thing I want to tell him involves a character issue or major item, I try to be sure that we're both in good moods, haven't argued in 48 hours-ish (criticism, no matter how constructive, generally stings at first, so it's good to be feeling loved by the one who is temporarily stinging you), and that we're in a spot where we can talk it out.  Then, if the item has been rubbing against my mind for at least a week (usually ten days or more), and if I feel a peace about discussing it also, I will bring it up.  These criteria - waiting 10 days, and still feeling the strong need to discuss it, but having a peace about bringing it up in the first place - are usually good indicators for me.

3.   Along those same lines, a friend once told me, "Matt doesn't answer to you at the end of the day.  He answers to God."  I need to be loving and supportive.  I will answer to God for how I treated my husband, and my call is to be his helper and to be submissive.  As mentioned in #2, sometimes God will use a spouse as a mirror for attitudes and actions, but it's not our primary job description.  God can do the convicting, purifying, and sanctifying all by Himself without my help.  Both he and Matt would appreciate it if I let God do his job.

4.  Finally, a major point is that when I submit to Matt, I must also give him authority to make decisions.  It is not submission if I tell him "you have authority to make the decision on this issue...but if you choose the solution I dislike, I will not support you...it's your decision.  I submit to you."  Submission minus authority is a hostage situation.  It is NOT submission.

In conclusion, I should be praying for Matt.  After all, he's the one responsible for the spiritual direction of our home.  I need to be supportive, and loving, and helpful.  I can share opinions, but when things are major, I should check in on my motives and with God, before I come charging in all up in his spiritual grill.  And I should give him the authority and encouragement to actually do his job.  It's not an easy job, and frankly, I'm glad it falls to him and not to me.

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*Speaking of submission on my part - can't remember if I've already stated this in a previous post or not, but I've been having serious authority issues lately.  I think it partially stems from having been in authority over hundreds of kids for the past 5 years or so, and then switching to full-time motherhood with no authority outside of my domestic domain.  Now, when anyone in authority says anything, I want to debate.  Not even so much because I disagree with whatever is said, but simply to have the chance to give an opinion.  Or to fight.  Or to throw a temper tantrum.  Whatever.  It's downright scary how rebellious I've been lately.  Been praying about that one, too.  Stay tuned.  It's gotten better, but I'm definitely still a work in progress.

I've never really been one for New Year's Resolutions.

Perhaps that's because I only ever think of the usual stuff like: "journal more" or "eat veggies".  Ick (to the veggies, not the journaling).  As it turns out, I've been resolving several areas of life for the last six months or so, and therefore I didn't really have any new and improved resolutions for 2012, just a continuation plan.

I'm going to share what I've been working on for the latter part of 2011, and then I'll elaborate over the next few posts...which will actually happen soon, because I'm going to type them now and post a little at a time, thus outwitting myself.  Hopefully.

1.  Be intentional with my time.  Don't waste it and then complain that there's not enough time to get things done.

2.  Simplify our stuff.  (Remove clutter...ugh!)

3.  Save money.  (Make Emily's food, for starters.)

4.  Do my job.  (Make meals each night, do laundry, and generally have a presentable house.)

5.  Deal with the little stuff in my life that's keeping me from being who God wants me to be.  (Ahem...Dr. Pepper.  Don't underestimate the power of addictions!)

6.  Raise Emily as well as I possibly can to know and love God, His Word, and His ways.

7.  Create traditions for our family. 

8.  Look nice for Matt and Little Bit.

9.  Make cute stuff.  (Crafting is important.  I'm a recent convert.  I'm still working through this one, but I will post cute things as I steal ideas from other people and make them.  Thanks primarily to Tara and my in-laws for sucking me in with your adorable-ness and making me say, "I can do that."  Sigh.)

So, that's what we'll be discussing over the next few posts.  Stay tuned.

Pleased to meet you!

Welcome to my first-ever blog!  Wait...that's not true.  I had a Xanga account during college.  Now those were scattered thoughts of a random redhead!  Let me tell you...

Anyway, I thought it might be nice if I introduced myself for this first post.  You know, to ease you in gently.  The following is what I almost posted to my "About Me" profile, but there was a word count limit.  *sigh!  So, here is the un-edited version.

About Me:

I'm a newly minted momma of one (Emily).  I'm also a wife of one (Matt).  We are learning to do life together with Little Bit slowly but surely.

I am a great fan of Spanish.  In fact, I used to teach it.

I'm also a fan of middle schoolers (most of the time).  I used to teach them, too (when they would let me).

I love to count, but I can't do math very well, despite making it all the way through first semester Calculus in High School (what was I thinking?).  I'm really good at adding numbers through six.  Adding anything over three to a seven or eight is stressful to me, and I have to whip out my fingers and toes.  I think it's because I played Yahtzee and Monopoly and Parcheesi a lot with my grandma as a kid, and I got really amazing at doing "dice math".  Unfortunately, the average die does not go higher than six, hence my inability in this area.  (At least that's my theory.)

I have a cat named Gurgi.  He's kind of a punk.  We have a love/hate relationship.

If you're going to read much on this blog, you need to know that God has been amazingly faithful to us, and He's a pretty core part of our lives.  We've prayed lots of prayers, and He's done lots of answering.  He's definitely worthy of His role (God of the Universe, Creator, Father, Provider, Righteous Judge, Truth-Giver, Healer, Holy One, Friend, etc.), and I'm growing closer each day to being worthy of calling myself his daughter...well...occasionally the path forward is more like a slip and slide for me, but I'm more or less heading in the right direction.  When I don't, we have a "come to Jesus" (literally) meeting and things get back to the way they should be.

I'm a recovering junk food addict.  I fall off the wagon sometimes, but I've made great strides toward healthy living.  In fact, I ate my first-ever BLT two days ago!  It's not that it's an awful sandwich, but until recently, I definitely only liked the bacon.  Lettuce, tomato, and I were not friends.  Frankly, I still feel they steal bacon's glory by cramming their healthy selves into the sandwich spotlight.  Since meeting my husband, however, I've learned to enjoy a myriad of fruits, veggies, eggs, and sometimes beans (but only sometimes).

I like sleep, Dr. Pepper, fiction and chocolate.  I also occasionally crave broccoli, which is a minor miracle (see previous paragraph).

Oh, and I definitely know a lot less now than I did ten years ago. 


**Now for the part that provided a great surprise and delight for me:  The "Random Question" feature of the profile page!!!!

What was the best time you ever had licking stamps?

Oh my goodness!  I love this random question thing!!!  I am most definitely, without a doubt, addicted to licking stamps and/or envelopes.  Always have been.  When I was 5, my parents' friends gave me a box of envelopes for my birthday.  To this day, my mom, grandma, and husband (when he remembers) give me birthday cards in unsealed envelopes.  Now that's TRUE love!

So...best time licking stamps?  When my dad's business had to send out mailings a few times each year.  No wet sponge for me! 

P.S.  In case you've not followed this ramble to it's logical conclusion, one of the worst days of my life was when the stupid post office invented stupid sticky stamps that don't need licking.  Not cool USPS!  Not cool!


Alright.  That's a little bit of random trivia regarding moiself.  Most posts won't be me-centric (ideally), but rather a log of thoughts, experiences, and sometimes (but only sometimes) emotions through the scattered lens of a random redhead.