Dr Pepper - Part 2

For those who missed yesterday's post, Dr Pepper - Part 1, you may want to read it before this one.

For those who don't want the long version (which I ALWAYS give), skip to the part highlighted near the end.

For those who don't mind the long version:

Have you ever had that one thing that you just pray for deliverance for over and over?  For me, it's been a myriad of issues, mostly having to do with food.

Anyway, now that Dr Pepper isn't an option, life has been better.  I don't have the option to drink it (since I'm still fasting), so my poor over-caffeinated-prayer-life has become much more free to pray for other stuff.  It's kind of neat.  And...I've been able to notice some other problem areas in my life (sigh...stay tuned to the end of this super-long post).

The addiction is gone.  It makes me think of the verse:

Matthew 18:8-10 (NIV)

⁸ If your hand or your foot causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life maimed or crippled than to have two hands or two feet and be thrown into eternal fire. ⁹ And if your eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into the fire of hell.

Now that the addiction is gone, I feel such freedom.  I cut that part out of my life, and I'm better off without it.  Plus, a lot of the crummy foods I eat only really taste good with high fructose corn syrup, carbonation, and caffeine.  So, I'm eating healthier, too.  Btw, I have substituted sweet tea when I eat pizza or hamburgers or stuff, but I'm DEFINITELY not addicted.  I just get sick of water after a while, and I'm really not a juice person (usually). 

**Disclaimer: Dr Pepper-drinking is not sinful.  My heart attitudes were.  You happy Pepper's out there, you keep on enjoying yourself.  Unless God has convicted you that you have issues, too.  I'm not condemning anyone here.

I did show some moderation during my pregnancy.  This is at Sea World.  I spent lots of time both in this T-Shirt and in bathrooms by this point in the pregnancy.  (3 wks. before she was born.)

Some reflections:

One issue for me was a lack of moderation.  Over-doing it was the primary sin.  Part of the reason why I would over-do it, though, was simply because I knew I shouldn't.  I was rebelling.  (More on that in a moment).  Rebellion and gluttony are both sins.  Oh, and I valued it above everything else.  It had become a stupid, sugary, delicious idol.

Since giving up Dr Pepper and also becoming a stay at home mom, I've removed a major addiction/idol in my life and replaced it with lots of free time.  Free time/space where there was once a stronghold invites a replacement.  Or a deep, internal-house cleaning.  Or both.

Luke 11:24-26 (NIV)

   ²⁴ “When an impure spirit comes out of a person, it goes through arid places seeking rest and does not find it. Then it says, ‘I will return to the house I left.’ ²⁵ When it arrives, it finds the house swept clean and put in order. ²⁶ Then it goes and takes seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there. And the final condition of that person is worse than the first.”

 

Fasting tends to help highlight issues.  This has been a really-long (but tiny) fast.  I'm discovering some serious issues.  I don't think my issues have moved in since Dr P. moved out (like in the verse above), because they've been there all along.  I do think, though, that if I'm not careful, something else could slide into that coveted spot in my heart.

I was always extremely busy before E was born.  I never stayed in one place long enough to reflect on my deeper-heart attitudes about anything.  Now, with more free time, I am finding quite a bit of time alone with myself and my thoughts.  I'm kind of a jerk.  

Here are the main issues I've discovered:

1.  I am rebellious.  If I argue with Matt (not that my feisty self would ever do that, but hypothetically, for the purpose of this post...), my immediate response is to act out.  I will eat fried food, pout, stamp my foot, etc.  

In fact, If you called me and asked me to do something crazy while I'm in this state, I'd probably do it - if it's not too expensive or painful - no tattoos or shopping sprees.  (Tantrums have their limits before my common tendencies take back over.) 

This is a little scary for me, because it's new.  The oldest, "perfect" child persona isn't usually prone to temper tantrums designed to make people I love angry.  Usually I want affirmation.  So, to want to go be a punk and start tossing all of my usual self out the window is mortifying.  Now, I know I have an anger problem, and none of this is really new, but I've always been too busy (or attributed flare ups to stress) to realize that I have a seriously corrupt heart going on!  Plus, I'm realizing that it's actually rebellion against Matt as my authority.  If I willingly rebel against Matt, when I can see and touch him, what would I do against God?  Hmm.  Plus, I'm not perfect.  

While everyone else - possibly even my younger sister - already knew this, it's still kind of shocking for me.  I had myself pegged as practically perfect with some quirks.  

2.  I want my best interests over all else, and I don't really want to serve people.  I just want them to think I'm nice and like me.  This particular trait was demonstrated at a Christmas party white elephant exchange where I nearly sacrificed some friendships for a wallet.  Sigh.  No recovering there.  This issue was less surprising to me than the fact that I couldn't control it.  I was mortified.  (As was the poor hostess...)

3.  I have allowed disorganization and lack of discipline to prevent/ruin some pretty great relationships.  How?  

Well, thank you cards for one.  I immediately write a thank you card the moment I receive something.  Then, I set it aside until I find a stamp, or look up an address, or buy a thank you gift.  One particular thank you card was lost (twice) and mailed a year and a half late and I'm pretty sure the friend will never speak to me again (mainly because I told her repeatedly that I had a thank you card but couldn't find it - and she moved twice, so I had to ask for her address a ton and never got in in the mail until a few weeks ago.)

Our house is so crazy unorganized and generally messy, that we've not been entertaining new friends in our home for quite some time until recently.  God has given us the gift of hospitality, and our lack of discipline has squelched it.

All of these are issues keeping me from living like God wants me to.  All of these are slowly being dealt with.  Many of my friends have been on the receiving end of my issues.  I deeply apologize.

Here's what I would say to sum all of this up:

1.  I was addicted to Dr Pepper.  I prayed about it all the time, but I was an otherwise decent gal (I thought).

2.  I stopped drinking Dr Pepper as part of a fast.

3.  I began to spend more time just being quiet and still.

4. God answered many prayers as a result of the fast.

5.  Nearly 6.5 months later, God began to reveal other sins in my life.

Sabbath rests and fasting are HUGE tools God can use to really focus your prayer life and lend a new perspective to your situation before him.  

If you are constantly praying for something that is a stronghold, I'd recommend fasting from it for a time if at all possible.  

Satan is a master at distracting us from the real stuff.  

Here I have a self-centered, undisciplined, rebellious heart, and I've spent the last seven years praying for God to help me be disciplined with Dr Pepper.  It's definitely an issue, but it's not the only issue God wants to correct in my life, nor is it the biggest.  

It's just a straw-man argument, put in place by the enemy to keep me from serving God. 

 

Praise God! Emily's Spine is Perfect!

This is Little Bit's first passport photo.  Isn't she adorable?  Turns out, we had to take a new one at the passport place because of the wrinkles on the background sheet, but this will forever be her first "passport photo" in my mind.

Go on and take another second to ooo and ahhh.  I can wait.  I understand.  There.  Feel better? 

Alright, now for an update on our Little Miss.

Last week, we went in for her four month appointment and immunizations, and while examining her adorable toosh, the doctor glanced at the chart and said, "did we get an ultrasound on that?"

I'm sorry.  WHAT?  An ultrasound on her sweet little rump?  Whatever for?

"We didn't get an ultrasound?" (rising panic in his voice)  "How did I miss it?"

What did you miss?  What's wrong?

"These dimples"

(Alright, enough dialogue.)

Turns out, she has sacral cleft dimples.  She has a little forked "Y" coming up her lower back just above her tiny little glute-crack.  There are dimples on the top Y parts as well as on the stem of the Y.  They're perfectly normal in a lot of children, but sometimes, they can indicate spinal issues.  25 years ago, no one paid them any mind.  Then, doctors began seeing correlations, so now they double check just to be sure.

Our sweet doctor had just read an article the night before on the exact measurement to determine "cute-baby-dimples" vs. "look-into-the-cute-baby-dimples", and Emily definitely measured for an extra looksie.

Potential issues: spinal bifida, an attached spinal cord (it should be floating around.  If it's attached at the base, then it won't grow when she does.), etc.  The doctor explained that later on, she could have problems walking or going to the bathroom.

So...we do an ultrasound to check things out and go on from there.  No biggie.  Just a tad scary.

Except. 

Except for the fact that she's big enough now, her bones will make it difficult for an ultrasound to see the spinal cord.  We'll probably need an MRI, which could mean infant sedation (which sometimes has some...er...fun side effects.

He was hesitant to recommend an MRI on an infant (the sedation thing), and an X-Ray is too much radiation at her age, so he recommended a second opinion from a NEUROSURGEON.  Ahhh!  (Btw...yes, they do brain surgery stuff, but they also work with nerves, and since the spine is a very nerv-y place, they do that, too.)

Matt and I decided that while the situation could be quite a dramatic, scary change in our lives, we'd wait to start alerting all of our prayer-warrior friends (and freaking out ourselves) until we knew for sure we even needed an MRI and when it would be.  We told only a few people.  We just didn't have enough information to get everyone all up in arms and on their knees until we saw our second-opinion doc.

Well, that appointment was today at 8:30am.  The neurologist (who kind of reminded us of Matt's uncle, in a way) came in and said we definitely needed to look into the dimples, but Emily was small enough that an ultrasound might work.  He called over to the children's hospital and asked for an ultrasound STAT*.  They worked us in immediately, and baby girl slept beautifully just in time for us to do the ultrasound.  I had to take pictures, because it was her first ultrasound, and she just looked so incredibly cute sleeping there with goop all over her back.



It was cool to watch!  Her spine reminded me of dinosaur bones.

 She woke up and was a little disoriented (after all, her last ultrasound was from inside of me).  She quickly realized that there was a TV playing cartoons behind her, and she did the best tummy-time workout stretch EVER trying to see them.  I finally flipped her over so she could watch.  Here is her sleepy little face watching contentedly.


"Should I just watch cartoons?  Or...watch cartoons AND suck on my toes?  Hmm..."

The appointment was at 8:30am, and at 11:50am, the neurologist called to tell me Emily is totally fine.  Her spine is fine and normal and unattached, and we don't need to come back or have surgery. 

So, we are totally praising God right now.  Unfortunately, since we only told like 5 people and our Sunday School class, no one knows that Emily almost had spine issues, and they're all shocked when we share the happy news.  Whoops!  Either way, God is really good, and we want to share.  Now you know.

P.S.  I had a marvelous time coming up with euphemistic reference to her nether-regions. 

P.P.S.  *STAT - I had to look it up to see what it meant.  Why don't docs just say "ASAP" - I mean besides the fact that it takes much longer to say?  It comes from statim which means immediately in Latin.  Or, some people in English have adopted it to mean "Sooner Than Already There".  As a languages person, I'm going with the Latin explanation.

Friendship

Friendship is...

1.  Backing out of the parking space at McDonald's and feeling a sickening feeling in your stomach as you realize you've just rear-ended someone else with your rear-end...  

...Then looking up to realize you're both friends, no damage was done, and everyone can finally let out that big breath they were holding in...phew!  Btw...Emily was fine.  Her car seat works beautifully.  She simply let out an ignorant squawk and went back to sleep.

2.  Helping friends celebrate birthdays and anniversaries, whether fishing, free babysitting, or dinner out together, or disc golfing tips.

3.  When someone leaves a Dr. Pepper shirt on your front door step because you're mildly obsessed, and she knows it.

4.  When your Poweraid-drinking friend gives you all of her Coke points so you can get cool free stuff.

5.  When you have over a friend for dinner because their spouse is gone for the weekend.

6.  When your friends bring snacks without being asked and help you clean up before they leave.

7.  When you can get together with another couple for games and all be on your worst behavior (and acting out of your grumpiest moods) and yet love each other enough to let it blow over by Sunday. 

8.  When even after you move away, your friends still stalk your facebook wall a little too often and send random notes and cards and such to remind you you're not forgotten.

9.  Having someone pick food up for you on the way to a party you're hosting because you're a loser at remembering to get ALL of the necessary ingredients.

10.  Praying for someone consistently because you love them.

11.  Not seeing each other for months or even years and picking right up where you left off without missing a beat.

12.  Getting your friends into theme-parks (ok...we could be friends without it, but you know who you are, my moochable friends!).

13.  Looking out for job openings and opportunities as well as sharing helpful tips for those going the "creative route" in employment.

14.  Hand-me-down baby clothes (and other stuff your kids have outgrown).

15.  Game nights!!!!!  (Actually, ours are usually "game-all-days-and-nights")

16.  When your friends invite you to dinner and have created the whole meal to work with your dietary needs and wants.

17.  When your friends help you move and still love you.  (We have a TON of books y'all.)

18.  When your friends are "brutally honest" and sharpen you for the better.

19.  When your friend calls to tell you to look at the sky because it's blue with gorgeous clouds, and she knows you can see it from where you should be right then, too.

20.  When your friends send random anonymous Marmaduke comics to your house just because it's funny to watch your husband's response.  (Long story.)

Sharing life together - the good times, the bad times, the boring times, the random times, and all of the in-between ones.  This is friendship, and I'm thankful to say, we've got some of the best friends ever. 

Thank you friends, near and far, for being you. 

Shifting Perspectives

Four years ago, I got new eyeballs thanks to lasik!

The doctor warned me that with my strong astigmatism, there was only a 95% chance of total correction, and either way, I would one day need glasses again.  I took my chances and went with lasik.  Best decision ever!!!

Fast forward to a few weeks ago.  I've noticed I have a little bit of night vision trouble, so I went to the eye doctor to get new glasses.  My intention was to use them at night, when I drive, and to make a fashion statement when necessary (glasses are "in" right now, after all).

Anxiously awaiting my new cute accessory, I finally received the call of the week.  My glasses had arrived!  Hurrying to the store, I picked up my new addition (the one that would make several outfits look much better), and I quickly put them on.

Emily and I (and my new glasses)

It was at that moment I discovered I've been experiencing a sort of VHS vision in a Blu-Ray world.  The picture below is the best way I can explain the difference.  The cute li'l fella on the left is perfectly fine---until you see his buddy on the right. 

Speaking of shifting perspectives, every day, I have a pretty good spiritual outlook on life (I think).  At least "left penguin".  Unfortunately, I often rely on my natural perspective in my life and interactions without opening my Bible to see what God's perspective might be or to allow Him to shape my own.  Then, finally, eventually, I'll spend some serious time with God.  The result of such a small effort on my part, is that my vision will shift, for a time, into "right penguin".  My attitude toward spiritual things is heightened.  My interactions with people become more intentional.  Difficult situations seem manageable after spending time with God.  Why on earth would I settle for a VHS approach when God offers a better than Blu-Ray experience?  Besides, without clear focus, am I really making the right decisions, or do they only seem right to me?

As a side note, the first few days (and even a little bit now), I would get headaches as my eyeballs adjusted.  Even though they were seeing things rightly, it had been too long, and they would get overwhelmed.  I found this applied spiritually in a few ways, too.

1.  When Jesus told the disciples he had more to share with them than they could bear at that moment.  It makes a little bit more sense now.

2.  As a grown-up Christian, it's important to be sure that I'm actually acting from a correct perspective.  If I'm not in regular fellowship with God, each time He tries to discipline me or work in me, it'll be like starting from scratch instead of building on what He already began.  Reading the Bible should not be a dramatic vision shift every time.  My vision should already be aligning with God's due to discipline on my end.

3.  Sometimes reading my Bible and being convicted about having a correct view of things might result in a spiritual headache.  The discomfort is not necessarily always a bad thing---especially if the headache is caused by beginning to look at a situation properly.

There you have it.  Glasses.  They're not just an accessory.  Neither is the Bible or prayer.