Exploration!

Lately, we’ve been doing a lot of exploring around here.  I’m going to try to sum it all up as best I can.  

We explored how to use the dishwasher as a water table:

We explored cotton balls, q-tips, and baby-bottle caps:

We explored flour:

We explored Machu Picchu:

 

We explored a mountain next to Machu Picchu (Huyanapicchu):

 

We explored mold on that mountain in search of Hidden Mickeys:

 

We explored drinking with a straw for the first time:

 

We explored Llama-petting (Both llamas and E have two bottom teeth.  Awwww...):

 

We explored swimming in a pool for the first time:

 

We explored Easter-egg hunting:

 

We explored stair-climbing (first try - floor to top in 30 seconds flat without a problem):

 

We explored how to reach new heights:

 

We explored our new baby-pool:

 

We explored beneath a puppy-dog (it was kind of like a reverse-zoo):

 

We explored music (she's a prodigy!):

 

We explored a spiny kiwano (tastes like banana, cucumber, & lemon...mostly cucumber):

 

We explored climbing down the step into the kitchen unassisted:

 

We explored the taste of slinkys (and everything else…the child is part-goat!):

 

TMI WARNING… Scroll down if you still want to know what else we explored.

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We also explored what frog poop looks like (poor guy...it was ultimately half his size!):

 

As you can see, it’s been an adventurous month and a half for us!

The Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil

(This post is part of item 6 on my 2011-2012 Resolving Life post.)

We're reading a book about training children.  The premise is that we should train E for situations before they actually occur so that we're not disciplining and training at the same time...which is kind of frustrating and generally unfair to her.

The primary objectives in the upcoming months are learning the word "no" (that will be this week-ish, btw), and also learning (once she's mobile) to come when we call her the first time.  

Sigh.

I actually just sighed out loud thinking about the days ahead.  I have enjoyed being the mom of an infant for the last 7 months.  She's kind of like a live baby doll.  She does what I want her to do, she stays where I put her, and she smiles when I ask her to.  

Or, she did.  

That began changing around a few weeks ago.  (insert another sigh here)  She is still quite lovable, but she has her own little mind, and her own little personality doesn't always agree with me.  Shocking. 

Anyway, stay tuned for some delightful updates on the training front.  It promises to be quite exciting.

As I was saying, we're reading this book.  It discusses how children may make wrong decisions, but before they know the decisions are wrong and actively choose to disobey, they aren't held accountable for their sins.  

But, at some point, every person has their moment where they face their tree of good and evil, and (as the author points out), so far everyone except for Jesus has failed in that moment.

I burst into tears when I read that.  

As I sat with a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach, it made me wonder how God felt on the day He woke up in Heaven on the day Adam and Eve disobeyed.  

(yes...I know His time is different, and He doesn't sleep, etc., etc., etc., but whenever that moment was on the verge of occurring in God-time...)  

I wonder if Jesus prayed for them to make the right decision one last time before they sinned.  He prayed for Peter not to fall away, and that after he did, that Peter would come back.  (Lk. 22:31-32)  I hope Jesus will be praying for Emily in her moment, too.  I think he does.  He died for us for just that reason, and he always lives to intercede for us. (Heb. 7:25)

Anyway...

My baby girl, while born into sin as a human being, still hasn't had her moment to willfully flaunt her sinfulness in the face of God (or us), but the day will come.  When it does, she will fail.  There is nothing I can do to stop her.  I can't reason with her about why it's better to do things God's way, and how He knows best, and why life will just kind of go downhill once she chooses to be disobedient to Him.  I can't tell her that she will spend many hours with an aching emptiness, wondering if anyone (even her parents) love her, and that until she chooses to embrace God's gift of Jesus on the cross, she will never find true joy, or love, or peace, or any of the other fruits that come from a relationship with Him. 

I think even harder than that, though, is that I have to recognize that my baby girl doesn't ultimately belong to me, and I cannot make decisions for her.  I have to trust the One who has rescued me from the pit of despair to do the same for my child.  To make her His child, too.  We have been praying for this since before she was born.  Frankly, since long before I became pregnant.

What can I do, then?  My job is to simply trust God, serve Him, and wholly love Him.  Then, my secondary job is to be the best Mama I can.  I know so many people who've had parents whose lives pushed them further from God.  I've also been privileged to experience the fruit of second and third generations of godly parenting for myself and Matt, and I know that being a godly parent is possible.  I never want anything that I do to be a hindrance to her relationship with our Savior.

So...I will begin training Miss E very, very soon.  But, as I do, I will also be training myself.  I'll be working on my own discipline and example, because that will train her just as much as anything else.

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Update:  I actually typed this a few weeks ago, but I forgot to post it till now.  We've begun working on "no" already.  She understands it most of the time and cries at me in frustration (a fake, annoyed cry...not a real, sad-baby cry) when I tell her no.  But, she has also begun to stop when I tell her no.  In fact, last week, I was at the other end of the room, and she obeyed me despite the distance.  We still need to work on it, but it's coming along.

The current issue we're having is that she is a screamer.  She SCREAMS when we go into her room, because she knows it'd time for a diaper change or a nap, and she doesn't like either option.  I'm not positive, but I think she's going to be a dramatic one.  :)  Oh!  And she wants to be held all the time, too.  By me. 

The Dirty Diaper Song

I made up a song in lieu of the holidays and lots of dirty diapers around here lately.

To the tune of "Do you hear what I hear?"

Said the mommy to the baby girl...

Do you smell what I smell?

Do you smell what I smell?

In your diaper, warm, baby girl.

Do you smell what I smell?

Do you smell what I smell?

A dump, a dump, fresh out of your rump, with a smell as strong as a skunk.

With a smell as strong as a skunk.

The end.

A quick summary upon which I shall elaborate soon.

Life has been delightfully busy.  Here are the tidbits:

E was a giraffe for Halloween!  Thanks Nonni!

My mom has a tumor that was discovered in June.  Totally treatable, but still ongoing at the moment.  She finished chemo in October, and to celebrate, we went on a cruise just before Thanksgiving.  

My parents, sister, bro-in-law, us, and the ocean.

 

We had a lovely time, and Little Bit is quite convinced (thanks to being one of the only babies on the ship) that all strangers should stop and greet her and tell her she's cute.  

Note:  She can be in the middle of crying, and if someone walks by and coos at her, she'll grin, with tears on her cheeks and all, until they leave.  Then, when they've gone, she goes back to fussing for us.  

Sigh.  Extrovert.

            

Lovin' great grandpa Gray.

Oh!  And she thoroughly enjoyed the ocean and playing in the sand.  So did her dad.  So did I, for that matter, which is a huge improvement for me.  Normally I avoid sand at all costs.  :o)

Four generations

During the cruise, Emily gained a pound and a half, so she apparently totally gets the cruising life: eat, sleep, eat, repeat. 

(Most people add sunbathing to this list, but not pale people or babies, so there.)

The Tuesday after Thanksgiving, mom had surgery to remove the tumor.  They got part of it, and she is now home and recovering.  She'll have radiation once she's all healed up.  Stay tuned. 

 

Randomly, have I ever mentioned my love for Nutella?  No?  Hmm...  Well, then I should tell you...

I. Love. NUTELLA!  

We found these beauties in the duty free shop on the ship.  A 7-day pack and a jar the size of my firstborn.  Ah-mazing!

Moving on...

Thanksgiving was delightful!  We went to Cracker Barrel for lunch (it was delish), and then we went to our friends' house for dinner.  It was probably the most people-full and food-varied Thanksgiving affair I've been to in at least ten years.  There were endless options, and everything tasted WONDERFUL!

Just got this adorable guy on sale the day before Thanksgiving!

Also, in honor of Thanksgiving weekend, Matt, E, and I had a little R&R time, just the three of us.  We watched Pirates 4 and Cars 2, and now we feel caught up with the rest of the world.  We also bought this year's tree, Theodore, and he put lights on our roof.  He-Matt, not he-Theodore.  Obviously.  Although we did put lights on he-Theodore as well.

Emily and Theodore the Tree

So far this December, we've had two movie nights (beginning at 9pm till late!), 2 Zelda-playing nights (thanks M & K), at least 2 board game nights (maybe more...I lose count easily), a book club meeting (me, not Matt), we've seen Dickens Christmas Carolers, the Singing Christmas Trees at First Orlando, gone to a Christmas party, and we've sung carols by our tree at home.  Ah...festivities!

Other Little Bit updates, for those wondering:

 - She is on the tail end of her very first cold. (4.5 weeks and counting, with a touch of RSV thrown in sometime near the middle.  It's out of her lungs now.)

 - She eats all kinds of foods: peas, green beans, pumpkin, squash, carrots (don't agree with her, so only small amounts), applesauce, banana, avocado (she's not a huge fan, but stay tuned), and grains.  

 - She had her first sip of water from a glass last Saturday.  She grabbed my glass, lifted it to her lips, and drank straight from it, like it was no big deal.  What a big girl!

 - She is totally aware of cameras and how they work.  She will stop whatever cute activity she's engaged in the minute she sees a camera and smile until it goes away.  Hmm...wonder where she gets it?

 - She is also a Skype-pro.  She grins the moment the program opens and smiles and coos at every relative she sees.  Smart girl.

Alrighty.  Now you're in the know. 

Merry December!  

(I would say Christmas, but it's a tad far away and yet I still feel merry, so there.)

-T

Praise God! Emily's Spine is Perfect!

This is Little Bit's first passport photo.  Isn't she adorable?  Turns out, we had to take a new one at the passport place because of the wrinkles on the background sheet, but this will forever be her first "passport photo" in my mind.

Go on and take another second to ooo and ahhh.  I can wait.  I understand.  There.  Feel better? 

Alright, now for an update on our Little Miss.

Last week, we went in for her four month appointment and immunizations, and while examining her adorable toosh, the doctor glanced at the chart and said, "did we get an ultrasound on that?"

I'm sorry.  WHAT?  An ultrasound on her sweet little rump?  Whatever for?

"We didn't get an ultrasound?" (rising panic in his voice)  "How did I miss it?"

What did you miss?  What's wrong?

"These dimples"

(Alright, enough dialogue.)

Turns out, she has sacral cleft dimples.  She has a little forked "Y" coming up her lower back just above her tiny little glute-crack.  There are dimples on the top Y parts as well as on the stem of the Y.  They're perfectly normal in a lot of children, but sometimes, they can indicate spinal issues.  25 years ago, no one paid them any mind.  Then, doctors began seeing correlations, so now they double check just to be sure.

Our sweet doctor had just read an article the night before on the exact measurement to determine "cute-baby-dimples" vs. "look-into-the-cute-baby-dimples", and Emily definitely measured for an extra looksie.

Potential issues: spinal bifida, an attached spinal cord (it should be floating around.  If it's attached at the base, then it won't grow when she does.), etc.  The doctor explained that later on, she could have problems walking or going to the bathroom.

So...we do an ultrasound to check things out and go on from there.  No biggie.  Just a tad scary.

Except. 

Except for the fact that she's big enough now, her bones will make it difficult for an ultrasound to see the spinal cord.  We'll probably need an MRI, which could mean infant sedation (which sometimes has some...er...fun side effects.

He was hesitant to recommend an MRI on an infant (the sedation thing), and an X-Ray is too much radiation at her age, so he recommended a second opinion from a NEUROSURGEON.  Ahhh!  (Btw...yes, they do brain surgery stuff, but they also work with nerves, and since the spine is a very nerv-y place, they do that, too.)

Matt and I decided that while the situation could be quite a dramatic, scary change in our lives, we'd wait to start alerting all of our prayer-warrior friends (and freaking out ourselves) until we knew for sure we even needed an MRI and when it would be.  We told only a few people.  We just didn't have enough information to get everyone all up in arms and on their knees until we saw our second-opinion doc.

Well, that appointment was today at 8:30am.  The neurologist (who kind of reminded us of Matt's uncle, in a way) came in and said we definitely needed to look into the dimples, but Emily was small enough that an ultrasound might work.  He called over to the children's hospital and asked for an ultrasound STAT*.  They worked us in immediately, and baby girl slept beautifully just in time for us to do the ultrasound.  I had to take pictures, because it was her first ultrasound, and she just looked so incredibly cute sleeping there with goop all over her back.



It was cool to watch!  Her spine reminded me of dinosaur bones.

 She woke up and was a little disoriented (after all, her last ultrasound was from inside of me).  She quickly realized that there was a TV playing cartoons behind her, and she did the best tummy-time workout stretch EVER trying to see them.  I finally flipped her over so she could watch.  Here is her sleepy little face watching contentedly.


"Should I just watch cartoons?  Or...watch cartoons AND suck on my toes?  Hmm..."

The appointment was at 8:30am, and at 11:50am, the neurologist called to tell me Emily is totally fine.  Her spine is fine and normal and unattached, and we don't need to come back or have surgery. 

So, we are totally praising God right now.  Unfortunately, since we only told like 5 people and our Sunday School class, no one knows that Emily almost had spine issues, and they're all shocked when we share the happy news.  Whoops!  Either way, God is really good, and we want to share.  Now you know.

P.S.  I had a marvelous time coming up with euphemistic reference to her nether-regions. 

P.P.S.  *STAT - I had to look it up to see what it meant.  Why don't docs just say "ASAP" - I mean besides the fact that it takes much longer to say?  It comes from statim which means immediately in Latin.  Or, some people in English have adopted it to mean "Sooner Than Already There".  As a languages person, I'm going with the Latin explanation.

Damp, Dirty, Messy Gratitude

Today, I became a REAL mom.  Today I...

• ...cut my finger on a razor (I was searching for something else in a spot I couldn't see clearly, and I grabbed it with my finger.) *This is not a real mom moment, but it's relevant to the second bullet point, and my finger is still throbbing, so I counted it a bullet-worthy-event on it's own.

• ...fed Emily a bottle instead of nursing for timing reasons (I let her sleep in and then cut my finger, thus skewing my exit strategy a bit.)

• ...witnessed my body go into overflowing mama mode (not nursing overnight OR in the morning apparently has consequences.  Duly noted.)

• ...may have fed her a tiny bit extra in an attempt to stem the surplus. 

• ...received my surplus "gift" back from my generous daughter.  Repeatedly.  (I went through two burp cloths and a receiving blanket.  Oh, and my previously wet shirt became even soggier during this hour-long process of re-gifting.)

• ...had an awkward social encounter as I attempted to use humor to deal with the situation.  Don't ask.  

• ...went through two diapers at once during a diaper change.

• ...had the privilege of testing out our "Wee Guard Car-Seat Saver" (a handy contraption for protecting the car seat from exciting diaper issues) on a massive diaper blowout.  It worked!  Car seat saved!  Em's outfit...not so much.  It didn't come home from lunch with us.  Neither did 18 wipes.  

• ...was outsmarted by a feisty gas pump...almost!  (We got along once I finally remembered to enter my zip code.  Today's events plus gas fumes apparently overwhelmed my brain cells --- or my "read-the-tiny-beeping-screen-and-follow-directions" cells).

• ...gave Em and myself mid-day baths (and trimmed her nails for the second time in 3 days).

• ...plunged a toilet.

The craziest part is that, despite all of these REAL mom moments, I'm extremely grateful.  Not so long ago, such events would have resulted in a massive meltdown with serious entitlement issues (i.e. "I deserve a vanilla Dr. Pepper from Sonic" --- hey, I didn't say I have expensive entitlement issues!)  Instead, I'm content and even a little happy.  All I know is that I'm quite thankful for God's grace.  I'm pretty sure He gave me a double scoop today.  Hopefully today's extra grace wasn't taken from tomorrow!  Either way, I didn't melt down today.  Not even once.  (Stay tuned about tomorrow, though.)

I know there will sometimes be melt-down-y days, and frankly, today would have been understandable, but I'm filled with damp, dirty, messy gratitude that today didn't ruin life.

Pleased to meet you!

Welcome to my first-ever blog!  Wait...that's not true.  I had a Xanga account during college.  Now those were scattered thoughts of a random redhead!  Let me tell you...

Anyway, I thought it might be nice if I introduced myself for this first post.  You know, to ease you in gently.  The following is what I almost posted to my "About Me" profile, but there was a word count limit.  *sigh!  So, here is the un-edited version.

About Me:

I'm a newly minted momma of one (Emily).  I'm also a wife of one (Matt).  We are learning to do life together with Little Bit slowly but surely.

I am a great fan of Spanish.  In fact, I used to teach it.

I'm also a fan of middle schoolers (most of the time).  I used to teach them, too (when they would let me).

I love to count, but I can't do math very well, despite making it all the way through first semester Calculus in High School (what was I thinking?).  I'm really good at adding numbers through six.  Adding anything over three to a seven or eight is stressful to me, and I have to whip out my fingers and toes.  I think it's because I played Yahtzee and Monopoly and Parcheesi a lot with my grandma as a kid, and I got really amazing at doing "dice math".  Unfortunately, the average die does not go higher than six, hence my inability in this area.  (At least that's my theory.)

I have a cat named Gurgi.  He's kind of a punk.  We have a love/hate relationship.

If you're going to read much on this blog, you need to know that God has been amazingly faithful to us, and He's a pretty core part of our lives.  We've prayed lots of prayers, and He's done lots of answering.  He's definitely worthy of His role (God of the Universe, Creator, Father, Provider, Righteous Judge, Truth-Giver, Healer, Holy One, Friend, etc.), and I'm growing closer each day to being worthy of calling myself his daughter...well...occasionally the path forward is more like a slip and slide for me, but I'm more or less heading in the right direction.  When I don't, we have a "come to Jesus" (literally) meeting and things get back to the way they should be.

I'm a recovering junk food addict.  I fall off the wagon sometimes, but I've made great strides toward healthy living.  In fact, I ate my first-ever BLT two days ago!  It's not that it's an awful sandwich, but until recently, I definitely only liked the bacon.  Lettuce, tomato, and I were not friends.  Frankly, I still feel they steal bacon's glory by cramming their healthy selves into the sandwich spotlight.  Since meeting my husband, however, I've learned to enjoy a myriad of fruits, veggies, eggs, and sometimes beans (but only sometimes).

I like sleep, Dr. Pepper, fiction and chocolate.  I also occasionally crave broccoli, which is a minor miracle (see previous paragraph).

Oh, and I definitely know a lot less now than I did ten years ago. 


**Now for the part that provided a great surprise and delight for me:  The "Random Question" feature of the profile page!!!!

What was the best time you ever had licking stamps?

Oh my goodness!  I love this random question thing!!!  I am most definitely, without a doubt, addicted to licking stamps and/or envelopes.  Always have been.  When I was 5, my parents' friends gave me a box of envelopes for my birthday.  To this day, my mom, grandma, and husband (when he remembers) give me birthday cards in unsealed envelopes.  Now that's TRUE love!

So...best time licking stamps?  When my dad's business had to send out mailings a few times each year.  No wet sponge for me! 

P.S.  In case you've not followed this ramble to it's logical conclusion, one of the worst days of my life was when the stupid post office invented stupid sticky stamps that don't need licking.  Not cool USPS!  Not cool!


Alright.  That's a little bit of random trivia regarding moiself.  Most posts won't be me-centric (ideally), but rather a log of thoughts, experiences, and sometimes (but only sometimes) emotions through the scattered lens of a random redhead.